Monday, June 27, 2011

Life's been a struggle lately D8.

Hey there everybods!! It's been a really long time since I've blogged at all, so I figured I'd give you an update on what's been happening lately in my life :).

Obviously my blog page title seems negative, but that's just because I've been struggling with this new job I've gotten recently at Vivint Inc. doing technical support inbound calls. I heard about the job from my friend Tia and was interested in applying and such, but man, I had no idea what I was getting myself into hahahaha. I'm still really grateful that she let me know about the job and that I started the job, but it's only been since Thursday that I've been talking on the phones with customers, and I'm already putting in my two weeks notice ^^;.

Just by reading that, you might think that I'm a wuss when it comes to dealing with people, but that's not entirely the case. On Sunday, I actually had a really good day and was able to help a lot of kind, patient people, but on Thursday, my first day, I had one customer yelling at me telling me that Vivint was a shady company and demanded that we send a licensed and registered HVAC technician to him to fix his thermostat that we'd installed, and on Friday I had two escalated calls, both of which I managed to survive, but man.... It's just when people get angry that I feel like I'm going to die inside. A lot of people have told me that I shouldn't internalize the things that the customers are saying, and I do my best not to, but when what they're saying about you is true (that you have no idea what you're doing), it kinda gets to me. Plus, I just hate conflict in general, so the job has been tough since day 1. I've been on and off crying ever since I started talking to customers on the phones. It just racks up my anxiety levels like no other ^^;. I think if I were able to become part-time instead of full-time, things wouldn't be as difficult as they are, or at least they'd be a little more manageable because I wouldn't be working all day and then thinking about how much I don't want to go to work the next day if I had some more time at home to just relax and draw or work out. I think if I worked more like 4-5 hours a day instead of 9, I'd be feeling a lot better hahaha.

So! This morning I e-mailed my supervisor and told her the job just wasn't a good fit for me because it really hasn't been. The only day that I've enjoyed so far was yesterday, and I'm pretty sure the only reasons I enjoyed it were because #1, I didn't get any escalated calls, #2, I was with Tia and we talked while it was slow, and #3, I was able to fit some drawing in, which is nearly impossible on most other days because we're answering calls for 9 hours ^^;.

Luckily my supervisor was really kind to me and offered to transfer me to a different department within Vivint, or told me I could put in my two weeks notice. If I just decided to terminate, then I wouldn't be able to be hired by Vivint ever again, so I'm going to do my best to survive the next two weeks and start looking for other work. Paul, one of my animation cohorts, let me know about this job that he's doing right now down at BYU because I told him I was looking to maybe get hired down there. He suggested to go to work where he does, and I think that would be pretty cool, I just want to know what kind of work he does before I make any moves ^^;.

Anyway! Obviously this whole job thing has been a big transitional phase in my life, and what's ironic is that I moved out about a week before I started the job in the first place. So many things have been changing hahaha! I honestly haven't minded moving out at all. My room mates are pretty interesting, I hardly ever see them at all! One of them is deaf, but she uses hearing aids to hear, and the other is a girl my age that's studying flabotomy. We had another roommate that was Polynesian, but she moved out the Monday after I moved into the place ^^;, so I didn't really get to know her very well.

It's been interesting moving out and living like you're alone. It's been okay though :). I feel like I've grown at least a little bit by doing so. I also really feel like starting this job at Vivint was meant to be, even though it's not a good fit for me, it's taught me what I can and can't handle, and it's also taught me how to say no and stand up for myself.

My mom and my boyfriend Dan have been so supportive during this tough job time for me. My Dad and Jewell have been too, but in different ways. Tia also has really been there for me, and I can't express how grateful I am to all of them for trying to help me through this and help me grow.

This is random, but I miss so many people right now, especially my good friend Christie. It's been so long since I saw her last! I hope I get to see her either this week or next week once my job is over and done with. I'm praying that I can find another job that'll work for me better :). Just got to keep positively visualizing and positively thinking and I'm sure something else will come around :).

I don't know if I said this in an earlier post or not, but I'm actually starting to make my own music!! It's very dance/techno style, but it's definitely got a weird twist to it, at least I think it's a weird twist hahaha. I'm afraid that's all I'm going to post about that though, just because I don't want my ideas stolen. I guess I can also say that I've nearly finished two songs and two more songs are currently in production :D. I'm hoping to come out with a four-song album by the end of this summer, and if not, then I'll probably just release the two songs that I have as singles and then combine them in an album later on :). I'm really hoping that good things will come out of making music... I don't see why they wouldn't :D. Perfume and Capsule have totally been my inspiration for making music...especially Perfume. They're such an amazing group!!

I'm still drawing a little bit here and there. Once I quit this job and find another, I'll have more time to draw. Plus, I really want to start working on student film stuff for school, and if I'm working full-time like this (working 10:30-7:00 5 days a week), I'm definitely not going to get any good film experience.

I got a new computer though, so I should be able to do some student film stuff from home now (yay!!!!). I wasn't able to before and it was pretty frustrating because whenever I wanted to work on my 3D homework, I'd have to drive quite a distance in order to, and now I don't have to, woooo!! :D, even though I live pretty close to the school now hahaha, it's still a drive I guess XD.

Anywho! It's been a pleasure updating all of you on what's been going on in my life!! I hope I didn't depress all of you too much!!! ^^;. I'll try to post again soon. Much loves to all of you out there!!! Positive thoughts ~<3!!

~Ali~